The umfimkable 'as appened.

The grand ol' lady of Essex 'as shuffled off 'er mortal coil.

Not ownly 'as she bin taken to a better place, but she was taken so at a most importunate time.

All dry ingrediens sifted, an' shortenin' melted, an' oven pre-'eated 180.

Whoever's dun this is goin' to have to pay.

The cops says as how it was "natr'l causes", but that's bollocks. Aunt Mavis would never just cark it.

Anyway, the old dame's buried now, and it's time to go to 'er wake, and the reading of the will.

There will be intrigue. There will be bad accents. There will be violence.

There will be fuckin' Pikeys.

There will be the reading of the will. There will be a bar in the corner[1].

There will probably be fuckin' coppers. There will be struggles for power. There will be fat fuckin' sacks of cash goin round.

There will be speeches and reminiscing, and sighs of fuckin' relief as how no-one is getting a knitting needle frew the eye no more.

There will be a fuckin' diamond, as big as your fuckin' fist.

There will be the serving of the Last Teacake, the one what Aunt Mavis was preparin, before she shuffled off her mortal coil.

A freeform set in Essex for 25 people. Accents a must (any accent at all).

Shamelessly ripped off from: Snatch, Essex Boys, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, and the like.

Bad Idea/We're Sorry Studios (Matt Cramsie) 'as absolutely no fuckin' comment for the press. They are raver sorry, but.

[1] Not like to say as how we'd ecourage you to bring alcohol to the game, as we can't.

All was well in the kingdom of the Body. The brain ruled with iron-hard neurons. The blood flowed in accordance with the brain?s whim, and any objection brought swift retribution, and a cut-off of supply.

But the great cataclysm changed all that. The brain was rent asunder, its hemisphere?s divided. And now the blood flows without direction, and the Body is paralysed, as every organ struggles to carve out some influence for itself in the new order.

So now each Hemisphere refuses to acknowledge the other, and Guru Penis, the new-comer, wishes to insert himself into power. And Appendix is paranoid, because Wisdom teeth has vanished, and Foreskin has been removed, and it or Tonsils could be next. And what exactly motivates the insidious Spleen?

From the man who brought you the Alien Sex Freeform comes a wacky game of political intrigue and bodily function.

See you inside.

By Mike Gibling

0834 hrs Thursday October 22nd 2020
?. New Gotham has been placed under martial Law, an event not seen in our streets since the Joker venom plague of 2011 .?
?. The death toll from the impact of Kord Air Orbital flight 207 with the Emerald field above the Earth are estimated to be in the 1,000?s ..?
?. Sources close to WIZ news have stated that there appears to be some form of gathering of world leaders at New Oa, the purpose of which has been linked to the Emerald shield covering the Earth..?

2020 Sees the earth divided up between various meta and ultra human houses, formed around major superhero figures of the late 1990?s.
While the Earth has pushed forward to it?s manifest destiny as the cradle of a new intergalactic empire others have been watching.

8:15 am saw an emerald energy field appear around the earth, causing a number of deaths and cutting the planet off from the rest of the universe.
At 8:30 am a summons went out to all the major earth Governments requesting their presence at a meeting to be held at New Oa, a enormous space station built by the Golden Age Green Lantern, Alan Scott. While this confirmed the suspicion that The Green Lantern Corps was involved, the why was still to be answered

A freeform for 50+ players set in an alternate future of the DC universe. Costuming, while not essential, would be great.
By Big Daddy Matt and his Super Friends!

The Nadir lord Darian has been amassing an army for months now. The exact numbers are unknown, but it is assumed that he will soon have a force large enough to challenge Dalvaro.

Seven Outlander leaders have agreed to meet with the Dalvari Templar and discuss an alliance. However, hatred runs deep between the two races, and a treaty will not be reached without sacrifice on both parts.

The talks are to be held in Dalvaro's capital city, resided over by the Princess of Dalvaro. Measures have been taken to ensure a minimum of violence. But, as must always happen when two opposing races are in close quarters, tension is high and the less tolerant of both races are prepared, even hoping, for combat. This will be, indeed, dealing wih the devil.

Penelope O'Rance

Whereas, we Norton I, Dei Gratia Emperor of California and Protector of Mexico, being sensible of the British Empire?s intention to withdraw from the Sandwich Islands (known to the natives as Hawai?i), and desirous to assist the valiant people of those islands in their desire to remain independent of despotic and warlike nations, do hereby resolve to place said islands under our protection. It is our hope that thusly will that the ties of trade and culture between the Hawaiian Kingdom and the Californian Empire will grow and strengthen. Her Britannic Majesty?s government assures us of it?s full co-operation in this matter, therefore it is our intention to travel to Honolulu, the capital city of the Sandwich Islands, discuss arrangements with His Majesty King Kalakaua; with the British Minister to the Sandwich Islands; and with representative of divers other nations with interests in the Pacific. Given at San Francisco, Cal., this 18th day of April, A.D. 1875, in the twenty-third year of our reign.

A twenty-five player Castle Falkenstein freeform of high politics, low intrigue and ancient mystery at the crossroads of the Pacific, by Ben Hilton.

The longest awaited sequel since A Very Brady Movie

A 12 player freeform in the grand tradition of Short Sharp Schlocks. A collection of roleplaying mini-games run over an entire session. It's roleplaying at it shortest!

Now under new management. Old management... on their bus!

Play out the (probably short) lives of 12 teenagers, drawn together by fate and a desire to play humorous party games together, safe in their big American house overlooking the bay... or so they think!

Features

• Now with rules!
• But not too many rules!
• A new teen horror theme!
• Better script-writing than Attack of the Clones!
• Fewer actors from Attack of the Clones than Attack of the Clones!
• Just the right amount of rules... maybe.

It's thing, it's got stuff and it's good - buy it!

by Greg McIntyre

?Captain! Klingon Battle-Cruiser out of the Nebula off to Starboard?

?Damn, they?ve found us RED ALERT! ALL HANDS TO BATTLESTATIONS?

?Captain Sensors indicate that their weapon systems and shields are off line. Warp Drive too Sir?

?What the hell is going on??

?Sir, they?re hailing us?

?On Screen?

Communications and relationships between the United Federation of Planets and the Galactic Klingon Empire have broken down and now the two galactic superpowers have just taken another step closer to all-out war.

Set in the Volatile Neutral Zone between the Federation and Klingon Empire, before the launch of the USS Enterprise NCC 1701D, ?The Brink of War? takes you to the bridge of the USS Explorer, a Nebula Class Starship and the Klingon Battle-Cruiser K?Tang as they face off against each other in a potentially deadly showdown in the cold depths of the Neutral Zone.

A Star Trek Based Freeform for 8-10 Federation Crew and 8-10 Klingon Crew.

A DeltaChaos Production
aka Murray C. Henstock & Malcolm Walters

Who was it that said Humans were never meant to colonize the stars? Hell, they had enough trouble maintaining peace amongst themselves on Earth, what made them think it would be any different in space?

Location: UAWORF3Gamma7.

It is the Year 2387, and the Newly commisioned station has seen the arrival of two new Alien Nations....Pax Veritas Imperium and Instrumentality. Hidden amongst these two arrivals are a myriad of sentient lives, acting ambassador to the UAW. And with every new arrival comes the opportunity for riches and exploitation.

Whether it be a quest for wealth or riches, or the hope of interstellar peace, one question will be asked of you. Do you have the skills and abilities to get the job done?

(A game from the on going campaign of Solar Winds. Anyone with an existing character may play them in this game. There will also be a limited number of pre-generated characters available. Max 20 players. Please note numbers are limited.)

Brought to you by Todd Dowling